There’s a part of executive leadership we don’t talk about enough: the feelings of isolation and loneliness.
Not the kind of loneliness that comes from being alone in a room, but the kind that comes from holding it all.
From the outside, leadership can look energized and confident. People see you setting vision, managing a team, speaking publicly, securing funding. But what they don’t see is the isolation that often sits just beneath the surface.
Why is leadership so lonely?
For me, it showed up in subtle, persistent ways.
- I was constantly holding complexity with no place to set it down. The board wanted one thing. The staff needed something else. External stakeholders had their own priorities. I was translating between all of them often without the space to pause or reflect.
- I sat between the board and the staff, carrying the weight of both vision and execution. I wasn’t quite one of either and I often felt like both.
- I held sensitive information about finances, personnel, and strategy that couldn’t always be shared, even when it weighed heavily.
- I faced pressure from every angle – donors, community members, the team, myself. Everyone had expectations. Everyone needed something.
And through all of it, I often found myself wondering:
Where do I go to think out loud?
Who do I trust to help me navigate something this complex?
What if I don’t have the answer right now?
What helped me most?
I didn’t find one big solution. I had to build a set of practices and people that made the work more sustainable and human.
I cultivated a community of leaders I could reach out to, even if just a few people who understood the terrain I was walking. It didn’t happen automatically. I had to be intentional and vulnerable.
I began identifying people who could reflect back my strengths when I couldn’t see them myself. This takes effort, not just finding the right people, but making space for honest conversation.
I released the idea that I had to have all the answers. Instead, I worked toward gaining deep clarity on our mission, values, and vision and let those become the compass. That clarity helped me delegate, align, and make decisions with confidence, even in uncertain terrain.
Why I created The Elix Collective
In all those lonely, high-stakes moments, what I longed for wasn’t a playbook. It was a partner.
Someone who understood the nuance of what I was facing.
Someone who could help me see both the big picture and the next right step.
Someone who had lived through leadership and could meet me in it without judgment or agenda.
That’s why I created The Elix Collective.
To offer the kind of strategic partnership I wish I’d had more consistently. To create space for nonprofit leaders to lead with clarity, capacity, and a deep sense of purpose without carrying it all alone.
If you’re feeling the weight of leadership, or craving a place to think out loud, you’re not alone. And you don’t have to figure it all out by yourself.
Book a Discovery Session to explore how we might work together.